The Night before Christmas (dirty version)

This is something I made playing with a text
to speech program I have. I can't take credit for the
actual parody of the old Christmas classic though,
it was from a piece of xeroxware my father brought
home when I was still in college...

Be forewarned, this is not a PC or Disney
poem. So if the kids are in the room wait
until later to listen to it. Or if you are
easily offended just overlook this bit of
ribald humor.

The night before Christmas (dirty version) 1.4 MB wav

It is a 1.4 Mb wav file, so if you are on
dialup it might take a little while to download.

Now for the original text version for your reading
amusment, I hope.

'Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house
everybody felt shitty
including the mouse

Mom at the whore house
and Dad smoking grass
I'd just settled down
for a nice piece of ass

When out on the lawn
I heard such a clatter
I sprang from my piece
to see what was the matter

Then out on the lawn
I saw a big dick
I knew in a moment
it had to be St Nick

He came down the chimney
like a bat out of hell
I knew in a moment
the fat bastard fell

He filled all of our stockings
with pretzels and beer
and a big rubber dick
for our brother the queer

He rose through the chimney
with a thunderous fart
The son of a bitch
He blew the chimney apart

He swore and he cursed
as he rode out of sight
Piss on you all
and have a hell of a night